Sunday, November 25, 2012

what this is and isn't about, FAQ

What our adoption is and isn't about

ISN'T

  • comfort
  • Self fulfillment / self glorification
  • needing more children
  • wanting to become parents
  • having a "martyr" complex
  • trying to one up everyone on the good people scale
  • ease of life
  • becoming wealthy
  • wanting to be super hero's
  • taking on someone else's burden
We are not Called to live comfortable lives. All the glory in this process is God's. We don't "need" more children to feel fulfilled, we are already parents, and we are still able to have biological children. We do not have a martyr complex. We want to follow God and to be the change we want to see in the world. We are no better than anyone else. No braver or kinder but we serve a god who is all these things. We are not super parents nor are we of the belief that "rescuing" this little girl will be glamorous. We don't see this as someone else's burden . In fact we don't see it as a burden at all. We don't aspire to worldly wealth. We aspire to spiritual wealth and this journey has made us wealthier on that count.


IS

  • answering God's call
  • improving the life of another human being
  • Giving a child a loving family
  • providing excellent medical care
  • A future for her
  • a mommy and daddy to care for her when sick
  • pick her up when she cries
  • teach her about Jesus
  • give her a life outside of an institution
This adoption is not about what we will gain. All we expect to get out of this is another child to love and care for. I'm certain we will be blessed and learn many lessons from her just as we continue to from the children we already have. This adoption is all about what we can give to this little girl. We can give her love, family, a mommy and daddy, siblings, excellent medical care, therapy, plenty of nutritious food to fill her belly, and a warm home. We can teach her about Jesus and his love for us.


WE HAVE NOT

  • entered into this lightly
  • come up with this idea on our own
  • relied solely on others to fund our adoption
this may seem like it happened quickly to many. And in a way it did. that seems to be how God works in our lives though. We only dated 4 months before getting engaged, and only waited 6 months after marrying to become pregnant. We did however discuss this at length with each other. This was God's idea and plan for us, we are along for the ride. So far it has been a beautiful ride and we have learned so much about God and his provision. We have seen miracles. As a result of this process we no longer put God in a box. We can see how big he is.

WE HAVE
  • answered God's calling
  • Stepped out in faith
  • put another's needs before our wants
  • Done tons of research on Down Syndrome
  • reached out to our local Down Syndrome community
  • researched congenital heart defects
  • consulted with our pediatrician
  • discussed for cardio referrals for her
  • talked to the center for international adoption medicine in Seattle
  • taken adoption training classes
  • researched institutionalization and malnutrition
  • sought wise council
  • fasted and prayed
  • been given an opportunity to walk the walk as far as our faith and our duties as Christians
We have done our homework. We have learned ALOT. We have made plans for her care. We have done our best to prepare ourselves for her particular needs as far as coming from an institution. We have talked at length with fellow Christians that we know and love and are confident that they have given us wise council. We are so grateful for this opportunity to walk the walk and to treat "the lest of these" as we would treat Jesus.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
  • why not adopt from the USA? we have plenty of kids here that need families
We love the USA and are happy to live here and to be American. However i don't think that means we are un patriotic for adopting from over seas. We don't believe that the plight or struggles of any one orphan are more or less important than another. We don't believe any one orphan is more or less deserving of a family because of where they were born We are adopting from Eastern Europe simply because that is where God has called us, that is where our daughter is. If in the future he calls us to adopt from the foster system here in the USA we will be faithful to answer that call
  • why are you asking others to donate to your adoption?
We are asking for donations for the same reasons Schools and sports teams fund raise  This is not an everyday  expense. This is a special circumstance. If raising money to send a sports team to playoffs, buy new computers for a school, send kids to camp are worthy reasons to fund raise then why wouldn't saving a child's life be worthy as well? We have supported schools, boy scout's, girl scout's, sent a child to camp etc and have been happy to be able to help , we see fundraising for this adoption as much the same.We have the means to care for her day to day and even to get her the surgery she needs however we do not have 25,000 dollars to pay to spring her from the orphanage. We are not asking solely for others to pay for this adoption. We are putting money toward it ourselves and have spent money from our own pockets already and will continue to do that.
  • Aren't you kind of young to be doing this?
This one is kind of funny to me because no one seemed to think we were too young to have our biological children, and i fail to see the difference. So no we are not too young. ps. Josh is almost 30 ... don't remind him though :)
  • Are you sure you can handle it / won't you be overwhelmed?
We are sure that we "can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". I guarantee we will have our hands full and will probably be overwhelmed at times. But what parent isn't ? This is why we are so glad to have a group of people who support and love us to lean on when things get tough.
  • Don't you think this will take away from your boys?
Yes. I think it will take away some of the typical selfish human ways, it will take away any chance of them being prejudice against those with disabilities or differences. I think it will instill in them a more compassionate heart and will  teach them volumes about God's love.
  • Are you crazy?
Probably.
  • What happens if she outlives you?
Hopefully she will. We are responsible parents with good life insurance that will guarantee our children are cared for. The same people who have been asked to care for our children if we should pass before they are adults will care for her. She is our child just the same. If she is an adult when we pass there is money for her care like i said before. She would either live with a sibling should they want her to and should they be in a position to care for her. If not then she will live in a care facility and be visited often by family. We know for a fact the facilities in the USA are far better than those in the country where she lives now. She will be well looked after.
  • How is this adoption proceeding so quickly? i thought it took years to complete an international 
adoption
 
In the country where our little one lives the adoption process is actually fairly quick. Averaging around six months if you are able to secure your paperwork and home study quickly. We have worked night and day to complete theses things as fast as possible. We are very concerned about her health issues so we are even more motivated to finish this quickly.

1 comment:

  1. This makes me smile. :) Have you visited my blog? JessieGunderson.com I'll be working on my version of why's. You've inspired me. It's not so scary.

    Great post! I love your reasons and your heart. Can't wait to squeeze your baby girl.

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